Don’t You Know Who I Am?

“What some fail to realize, though, is that such reviews can be tainted: Many bloggers have accepted perks such as free laptops, trips to Europe, $500 gift cards or even thousands of dollars for a 200-word post. Bloggers vary in how they disclose such freebies, if they do so at all.”

Let JohnnyBerry™ be clear.

JohnnyBerry™ did not have sex with that woman, Miss Lewinsky.

Actually, JohnnyBerry™ doesn’t post enough these days for anyone to even consider paying him for his services, but if JohnnyBerry™ were to be paid for endorsements, here are the companies that he would consider accepting money from:

Honey Baked Ham (because who doesn’t enjoy a nice ham, especially a delicious finest quality bone-in ham, cured in secret marinade, and then for tenderness, they smoke the ham for hours over a unique blend of hardwood chips.)

Toyota (because JohnnyBerry™ does drive a 2007 Toyota Camry SE and really enjoys his aerodynamic multi-reflector projector-beam headlamps with auto on/off feature)

Publix Super Markets, Inc (because cutting costs is simple at Publix. Especially now that they’ve lowered the prices on several essential products, including assorted varieties of Publix Milk, Publix Whole Boneless Pork Loin, Publix Bakery French Bread, 5-oz cans of Star Kist Chunk Light Tuna, Skippy Peanut Butter, Kraft Deluxe Dinners, Colgate Total Clean Mint Toothpaste, Bounty Paper Towels and 150-oz bottles of Publix 2X Free and Clear. They’re always looking for ways to make life a little easier.)

Apple (because JohnnyBerry™ enjoys his MacBook, and first generation iPhone even though the wonderful folks over at Apple have come out with a new phone - The first thing you’ll notice about iPhone 3G S is how quickly you can launch applications. Web pages render in a fraction of the time, and you can view email attachments faster. Improved performance and updated 3D graphics deliver an incredible gaming experience, too. In fact, everything you do on iPhone 3G S is up to 2x faster and more responsive than iPhone 3G.)

Rolex (because as the leading name in luxury watches, Rolex has been the pre-eminent symbol of performance and prestige for over a century.)

JohnnyBerry™ does not understand addictions.

JohnnyBerry™ is not an expert on addictions.

JohnnyBerry™ is not talking about being addicted to a television show, or a certain restaurant, or the internet.

Some people would say that JohnnyBerry™ is addicted to food. And while it is true that JohnnyBerry™ likes food it does not consume his life.

JohnnyBerry™ is talking about people that consume way too much alcohol and their reasons for doing so.

Specifically, people who thinks it make them interesting, funny, special, or unique to brag about empty bottles of booze in their house.

While it could be funny, it is sad.  Pitiful and sad.

JohnnyBerry™ does not understand, nor does JohnnyBerry™ want to be associated with something like that.

Maybe these people who think it is funny to brag about “drinking more than they are eating” will discover they started their excessive consumption of alcohol as a substitute for love, affection, security, fun, freedom, sex…

Again, JohnnyBerry™ is not an expert in these matters, but please realize that those things are not found inside a bottle, you have to reconstruct your life so that you can make them come back, so that you can live them as a reality not as a temporary delusion produced by alcohol.

Help is available before your drinking becomes a problem that affects all aspects of your life because while it may not make a difference, JohnnyBerry™ does not find humor in this and does not want to be around it.

What?!?

It’s February 19 already?

Man, where has the time gone?

Tv, work, Wii, Facebook…  Nothing productive except that Olive Louise Jenkins Smith was the top fundraiser in her pack for the 2009 Paws in the Park.

BetaMike got a new car.

Its a Volkswagen Rabbit, but he calls it a Beta-Bunny.

We have a new President but I am not real happy with him.  He should have stood up to the dems in congress more about their pork.

I have new neighbors - they are from the MetroWest part of town or over by UCF so they are naturally loud and inconsiderate.

The monster house across the street still hasn’t sold even though it was reduced from $1.6 million to $1.55 million.  Stupid amateurs.

My diet is shot — back up to a 44″ waist from a 39″.

We didn’t have enough cold weather days this winter.

I switched from a Dell laptop to a MacBook.

I am not too crazy about gas going up again - yeah I know it’s only $2 which is almost half but damn — it’s still $2.

Lately when I travel for work, the tv selections are very limited so I have to watch Tyler Perry’s “House of Payne”.

I am actually enjoying Tyler Perry’s “House of Payne”.

I want Sarah Palin to shut-up and sit down.

I still don’t like people and am using the word “idiot” within ear-shot of almost everyone that gets on my nerves.

Jake Hess
December 14, 1927 - January 4, 2004

Vestal Goodman
December 13, 1929 - December 27, 2003

(I will forgo the use of third person until the end of the post…)

On Friday, October 10, 1980 (yes, 1980) I was at the Tri-Cities Airport in Blountville, Tennessee around 7:00 am waiting to see President Jimmy Carter.

I had just turned 12 years old a few weeks prior and was so excited to see a President in person for the first time.

What made it even more exciting was that I was missing an entire day of school!

My Aunt Pat, Aunt Anne and Cousin Tracey and I traveled the 55 or so miles to the airport from our homes in East Stone Gap, Virginia to see the thirty-ninth President of the United States in person!

Imagine the excitement of a 12 year-old boy from the mountains of Southwest Virginia who barely had cable television, who was so uncomfortable in his skin growing up because he knew he was “different”, who was scared of his father, and tormented by his schoolmates.

Imagine being able to forget all my troubles for that few hours while I watched Air Force One land on a foggy runway and get to see the President in person.

I have never forgotten that day!

“Yes We Can!”

In 1996 I was very fortunate to see our  forty-second President, Bill Clinton, on Saturday, August 25, 1996 in Ashland, Kentucky.

It was the day that I discovered that I was indeed going bald.  We stood out in the hot August sun for hours waiting for his train to stop on this whistle-stop tour of the Ohio Valley.   I wasn’t wearing a ball cap and made fun of a very bald friend for doing so.  At the end of the day, my “bald” friend was all smiles, and I was miserably sunburned on top of my head!

Anyway, I digest.

I was able to see President Clinton on that day traveling in the same rail car that our thirty-third President, Harry S. Truman used when he ran for re-election (technically it was election, not re-election because he assumed the office in 1945 when FDR died) in 1948.

It was an equally memorable day.

“Yes We Can”

My first two experiences were separated by almost 16 years of time, heartache, successes, and challenges, but I remember both days fondly.

With all of this in mind, imagine my “memory maker” on overload getting to see President Bill Clinton, Senator Hillary Clinton and President-elect Barack Obama over the course of four days!

Yes, all three!

On Wednesday, October 29, BetaMike and I went to the Osceola Heritage Park to see not just one, but two legends of America — President Bill Clinton, and President-elect Obama.

It was a memorable event, in more ways than you can imagine, number one of which was the long line we had to wait in just to make it into the park, but it was more than worth it to see these guys in person.

I don’t know what it is, but when President Clinton speaks, it feels like he is speaking directly to you.  I am getting old because the “folksy” sayings he uses in his speeches I use in my everyday conversations.  Weird.

And to get to see Senator Obama and listen to the crowd of a diverse group of folks — straight, homer-damn-sexual, black, white, Asian, Hispanic, old, very old, young cheer and all agree on what is right for America….  It is what I think America is all about.

Everyone was happy.

Everyone got along.

As the line wound its way around for a few hours we would pass restrooms and people would leave the line to go pee and their place would be waiting, and they would be welcomed back by the strangers holding their place in line.

It was what you would wish America could be like all the time.

I know, I am a grumpy old man and would get aggravated at all the “niceness” — but damn it was pleasant that night and I think I could go for it all the time!

“Yes We Can!”

On Saturday, November 1, BetaMike and I capped off the political season by eating at a Chinese buffet in Winter Park.

No.

First, we went to the Winter Park Community Center to see Senator Hillary Clinton.  The center was full so we waited outside to listen to her speech on loudspeakers.  Eventually, we were directed to a parking area where we could see the Senator arrive — and even though we “technically” didn’t get to see her give her speech in person, we were just on the other side if a brick wall listening, and it was well worth it.

Today, JohnnyBerry™ is a happy man.

As BetaMike said this morning at 1:00am as I was trying to fall asleep, “YES WE DID!”

And I told him to shut-up because my Ambien was kicking in.

So much for a “nicer” America.

JohnnyBerry™ has lived in Central Florida for a long time and although Orlando might seem new, there’s a little bit of history here.

Granted, most of our architectural history is slowly disappearing, but JohnnyBerry™ is not talking about that. JohnnyBerry™ is talking about some of the television personalities that grace (or graced) the television airwaves here.

Bob Dance passed away this weekend, he was a car dealer here that had some odd but memorable commercials. Lately he took to featuring his granddaughter in his commercials which is creepy, but JohnnyBerry™ would feature Olive Louise Jenkins Smith in his television commercials.

Heck, Bob Dance even featured his dog, Buster, in his commercials. Bob Dance would even wear silly costumes, and had a cartoon on Saturday mornings.

There used to be a Chevrolet dealer here named Don Mealy. JohnnyBerry™ remembers that only because of his jingle:

Don Mealy Chevrolet
Don Mealy Chevrolet
Where you can find the car you want to drive.
Today!

Then there was a dealer here that had a tag-line “Where we mark them up just a little bit”. He would even hold up his fingers to indicate what a “little bit” was.

Here’s some classic Bob Dance:

JohnnyBerry™ will be at The Orange County Regional History Center in beautiful Downtown Orlando, Florida for RETRO GAME NIGHT on Friday, September 19, 2008 from 7 p.m.-midnight.

Good old-fashioned fun with an array of classic board and video games throughout the museum!

Free nostalgic treats and cash bar.

Ages 18 and up.

Retro attire encouraged.

$5 cash at door, Members free.

The History Center is located on the corner of Magnolia Ave. and Central Blvd. in the heart of downtown Orlando.

ADDRESS:

Orange County Regional History Center
65 E. Central Blvd.
Orlando, Florida 32801
Tel. (407) 836-8500
Toll Free (800) 965-2030

DIRECTIONS:

From Tampa:
* Take I-4 East
* Take Amelia St exit #83B
* Turn Right on Amelia St
* Turn Right on Orange Ave
* Turn Left on Central Blvd and proceed to the Parking Garage across from the Library (2-hour validation with admission)

From Daytona:
* Take I-4 West
* Take Colonial exit #84/US 17-92/FL 50
* Continue straight on Hughey
* Turn Left on Central Blvd and proceed to the Parking Garage across from the Library (2-hour validation with admission)

FREE Lymmo transportation from any place in downtown Orlando.

Now open at Disney’s Hollywood Studios in Florida.Hurry! Hurry! You can step right up and compete in a new, interactive “Toy Story” adventure inspired by Disney•Pixar’s “Toy Story” films!

Come board a ride vehicle and zip off into a 4-D world of midway-style games hosted by Woody, Buzz, Jessie, Rex, Hamm and more!

Use your spring-action shooter to throw virtual projectiles at targets and rack up points.

Compete for the high score.

Certain targets trigger fun surprises!

It’s Toy Story Mania!

From expert to beginner, everyone’s a winner!

So fun that JohnnyBerry™ rode it twice, but BetaMike still had a higher score than he did.

BetaMike had JohnnyBerry™ watch “The Warriors” and JohnnyBerry™ thinks that the character Cyrus’ rhetoric in the beginning of the movie sounded a lot like Senator Obama’s stump speech.